haranami

Location: Courtyard

Wataru: I see, so the tree won’t be delivered on time?

Madara: Yeah. I bet they assumed we’d want it just before the 25th, considering it’s for a Christmas party and all. 

I’m sure I told them the right delivery date, but...

Wataru: This is peak season; they must be overwhelmed with work. It certainly isn’t unthinkable for someone to have missed the memo. 

Madara: The tree’s already in the vendor’s warehouse, actually, so I was planning on bringing it here by car. I’d only get caught up in traffic if I left at this hour, though.

Wataru: ……

The tree’s already here, you say?

In that case, let us leave the venue to Knight-san and the others. We can handle this ourselves.

Location: Common Room

<One hour later.>

Tatsumi: …Only three minutes until the party begins.

In the end, it seems as though Mama-san and company won’t be able to make it in time.

Izumi: I guess so… Wait, you call Mikejima “Mama-san”? Who told you to do that?

Tatsumi: The man himself — he suggested that I refer to him casually, as “Mama.” I end up calling him Madara-san more often, though.

In any case, we’re ready to begin, and it seems as though the partygoers are raring to go. We should fulfil the task that was entrusted to us and keep the venue lively until our companions return.

You mentioned that they were too dull, but could we play a few hymns at the beginning at least?

I brought this with me, you see…♪

Izumi: What’s that, a cassette player and a tape? They look pretty old — are they yours?

Tatsumi: No, they’re from the church. They were gathering dust within the storeroom, so I decided to borrow them.

It’s no live choir, of course, but it should give rise to the right atmosphere nonetheless. Allow me to play it.

Izumi: …Hmm, not too shabby—

Woah. There was this weird noise, and now it’s completely shut off. What’s going on?

Tatsumi: I-I couldn’t say… 

Nazuna: Heeey~ Something wrong?

Tatsumi: Nazuna-san, Makoto-san. I’m afraid the cassette player stopped working.

I simply pressed the play button, and yet… 

Makoto: Huh… Mind if I take a look?

Izumi: What’s the issue, Yuu-kun? Can you figure it out?

Makoto: …Yeah, the player itself is fine. I think the splicing tape might’ve snapped, though.

Tatsumi: Snapped, you say…? Goodness, I’ve gone and ruined this item I borrowed from the church…

Makoto: Oh, there’s no need to worry — these things wear down with time, and it’s an easy fix. You just need to stick the leader tape and magnetic tape together, then it’s a-okay again.

I’ve got the tools to repair it back in Yumenosaki’s broadcasting room… If you don’t mind, could I hold onto this for a few days? I’ll make the time to repair it.

Tatsumi: I apologize for the inconvenience, but that would be a great help. Thank you very much.

Makoto: Just leave it to me! I’m good with machines and stuff ♪ 

I’ll digitalize the music for you while I’m at it. That way, you can play it on your phone. 

Tatsumi: I can’t thank you enough. You truly are a Good Samaritan, Makoto-san; may God bless you. Amen…♪

Izumi: Nope, nuh uh. Yuu-kun has my blessings already, so he doesn’t need any more.

You figured out the root of the problem in the blink of an eye! That’s my Yuu-kun for you. You’re onii-chan’s pride and joy, you knooow ♪

Makoto: You’re not my onii-chan, Izumi-san…

More importantly, I can find you some hymns if you want.

I’m sure there are royalty-free ones on the internet.

Izumi: Speaking of which. Nazu-nyan, and…

You, from Ra*bits! The one enjoying a chat on the sofa with Tomoya-kun! That’s right — Shino Hajime-kun!

Hajime: Uwaaa…?! You startled me, calling out to me so suddenly like that.

What do you need, Sena-senpai?

Izumi: Do you remember the Starry Night Festival that was held last year? We were in different units, but we all sang a song that was inspired by hymns. [1]

We’re gonna do that number again, right here, right now. We didn’t get to rehearse, but that won’t be an issue, right? We're idols, after all.

Nazuna: Ahaha, you’re so bossy~ Well, I guess we can think of this as a performance for the party, so I don’t mind. How ‘bout you, Hajime-chin?

Hajime: I-I’m good to go as well! I’m getting a bit nervous, but I’ll do my best…♪   

<One hour later.>

Tsukasa: …It seems as though the Party is already underway. Everyone is enjoying the festive spirit in their own way.

Mitsuru: Heeey, Tsuka-chan, Tsuka-chan! C’mere, let’s play cards together~♪ 

Tsukasa: Thank you for the invitation ♪ …Oh.

You’re with Tori-kun, I see.

Tori: Hey, how come you scrunched up your face the moment you saw me?! You’re so rude! R-U-D-E, rude!

Wait… I get it now ☆ You’re just scared I’m gonna beat you at cards, aren’t you~?

Tsukasa: Clearly not! I’m the one who’s going to win, after all.

I never hold back when it comes to duels; you’d best prepare yourself, Tori-kun.

<A while later.>

Tsukasa: O-One more round! I demand a rematch!

Izumi: (...Kasa-kun’s getting really fired up.)

(He’s been swamped with Knights work for days on end, so I guess this is a good chance for him to let off stress.)

(...? Someone’s calling me…)

Hello? …”Amazing!” is not a greeting. Cut that out — we may be on the phone, but you’re still hurting my ears.

Well? What is it? …You want us to bring everyone out to the courtyard?

You’ve gotta be kidding me, it’s freezing out there! Ughhh, gimme a break!

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Translation notes:

1. Shine! A Sparkling Starry Night Festival was a Christmas event where a first-year was paired up with a couple of third-years. Hajime, Nazuna, and Izumi were all members, but they were in different units.

Madara: ♪ ~ ♪ ~

Fufufu. I’ve gotta admit, they almost had me with that pincer operation back there. I was on the edge of my seaaat!

They sure underestimated me, though. There’s no way Eichi-san could’ve won in that kinda situation.

Even if he had to push his body to the limits, he should’ve been the one chasing after me; he should’ve made Kuro-san try to catch me.

If that was how they chose to do it, they could’ve safely retrieved the D — Kuro-san could’ve broken my wrists or something when we faced off. Well, this is all just hypothetical, though.

Eichi-san’s got his physical condition to think about. If he devoted his energy to minor issues like this, he’d be getting his priorities all wrong. 

But still, it would’ve been a flawless plan. Eichi-san doesn’t have much stamina, so he’s only got a single chance to push himself. This was the perfect opportunity, but he blew it. 

They let a huge catch get away. And now they’ve gotta put even more energy into their second strategy.

…Well? How do you plan on catching me, I wonder?

Eichi: You make a good point. Our pincer operation has proven to be ineffective, so we’ll simply have to face you head-on.

Kuro: In the end, we’re usin’ our muscles more than our brains.

Madara: Hmm. You’ve both stepped out in front of me — does this mean you don’t have any other cards up your sleeve?

Are you sure you don’t wanna come at me without a surprise attack? I have to say, this seems a lot sloppier than the ambush you came up with earlier.

Eichi: We’re quite sure, thank you. Allow me to explain why.

Here, feast your eyes on this: it’s a completely normal water gun. I’m going to use it to capture you.

Madara: …A water gun?

EIchi: Fufu, it’s quite simple.

I decided that I’d rather completely drench both you and the D than allow its existence to be known. And if I do so, you’ll lose all your grounds of negotiation.

Madara: …Are you for real? This D’s supposed to be one of a kind. I’m pretty sure you’re the one who’s gonna be in trouble if you ruin it.

Eichi: Ahaha. That would still be better than the secret getting out.

Bang!

Madara: Woah!? D-Don’t get aheaaad of yourself! If you do that— 

Waaaaah!? 

Guh… That didn’t come from Kuro-san’s direction! Who the heck shot me?

Kuro: Haha. You may be fast, but even you don’t stand a chance if we come at you from all sides.

Madara: All sides…?

Mitsuru: That’s no fair! Don’t hog all the fun, senpai! You’ve gotta invite me if you’re playing a game, ‘kay~?

Adonis: Fufu. Tenshouin-senpai, you’re a member of Sports Survivors just like us. If you plan on doing something fun, please allow Tenma and I to join.

Eichi: Of course, you two are a great help. In this game, you win if you shoot Mikejima-kun with these water guns. It’s gotten rather lively now that you’ve joined us ♪ 

Madara: I see what’s going on here… You called for backup in order to catch me, didn’t you—!

Kuro: You bet. Thanks to that, I’ve gotten soaked too, but there’s no gettin’ away now. 

Madara: Urgh…!

Kuro: Take that! It’s the end of the road for you.

Madara: I surrender, I surrender!

Hahaha. I didn’t expect you to come after both me and the D. Color me impressed...

But how’d you know it was fake?

Eichi: Well, you see, I had my doubts from the moment you threw the D down the stairs.

When I fought over it with you, it felt as though something was off. That’s when I began thinking things over.

Keito made the D quite a long time ago, and yet the book you showed us was in suspiciously good condition.

Considering how old it is, it’d simply be impossible for the paper to have remained in its original mint condition, regardless of how well it was preserved.

And I doubt that you’re the type of person who’d throw away his sole bargaining chip so recklessly.

Additionally, Anzu-chan is one of Mizuhanome-sensei’s fans. That’s all the more reason you wouldn’t do anything to it: you wouldn’t want to ruin her trust in you.

In other words, this was all a staged kidnapping — nothing more than a ruse of a larceny.

The truth is… You had a hidden mission and disguised another book as the D to achieve it, didn’t you?

Madara: Hahaha! You’ve got the eyes of a hawk, huh, Eichi-san?

You’ve read me like a book. Alright then, I’ll spill the beans.

Kuro: Damn right you will. Mikejima, why the hell’d you pull this stunt?

Now that I think of it, I’ve got no idea what your motive could be. And I’m pretty pissed I got dragged around the whole day today.

Madara: Soooorry to burst your bubble, but I’ve got no idea what the real mission is, either.

Eichi: What on earth does that mean…?

Madara: A secret someone requested I do this, y’see. They told me that, for certain reasons, I should take this book and try to strike a deal with you, Eichi-san.

Kuro: “A secret someone”…? I’m tellin’ ya to spit it out already. 

Madara: Hahaha. I’ve got my own sense of pride and duty, yanno? If someone tells me to not ‘fess up, I’m not gonna, no matter what kinda torture I get put through.

Considering it’s you, Eichi-san, I might get a taste of the worst kinds of pain, but that doesn't faze me.

Eichi: Just what kind of person do you take me for?

I won’t resort to violence because of an issue as trifling as this.

Still… As an idol, there’s almost nothing you could gain from doing this. Are you sure you didn’t want to relieve some stress? That’s the only feasible motive I can think of.

Won’t you tell us the truth, Mikejima-kun?

Madara: ……

The person who asked me to pull off this staged heist is someone by the name of Mister K.